Being a GenY and a woman

Pressure on Women from Gen Y:

As if being Gen Y is not hard enough, women from my generation are in constant pressure. Family they say, career they say, money they say, you have to have it all. They want us to have it all at the same time looking like Miranda Kerr. Yes we feel like there is this constant pressure of looking like supermodel, acting like superwoman and have career like Gail Kelly. Oh yes and there are royalties and so called like Kate, Beyonce….

May be its social media, we now have to face a bigger society and bigger expectation. We constantly try to connect to people all around the world and drooling over the life they have. Gen Y are bit of a show off, aren’t we? We highlight all the wonderful thing in our lives and we parade it in our social media statuses. We do not like to talk about our darker hours. We talk about how we got engaged to the wonderful man with pictures and emoticons but we rarely see lonely woman parading about how her man treats her poorly. We talk about how supermum went back to work and became a career woman but we do not talk about struggle they had to go through to get to that position.

This makes me wonder, should we be talking about not only our good days but our bad days as well. Are we too scared of constantly being judged? Will talking about our weakness makes us more vulnerable? Do we think if I tell my social friends that I curl up in bed every night crying, not that I do that, will make me a target? In our weak situations when our flight or fight instinct kick in, do we just take a flight? Rather than talking about it and spreading the awareness, does majority of us tend to just sweep them under the rug. Come to think about it, after centuries of feminism war, we have not really gone very far. Yes, we can vote, walk out of the front door alone literally and have say in our society but we still do not have our freedom. We are still tied down by society in some way or the other.

Woman needs to build their career and majority have to give that up to start family. After kids are grown up, what? Oh we were suppose to chase after our career. How do we do that? Majority of company are very aware of their cost and they look at moms as liability. However men on the other hand, they can have girlfriends, kids, grand kids, even side businesses, they are still taken as the asset, you know someone you can rely on for when it matters.

things I bought as a new mom that I am glad I did

When I was pregnant and went shopping, baby shops were daunting, they had isle of stuffs and you were not sure what they actually do. Because we live in a tiny 2 bedder and tight in budget, we were not sure what we should buy and what not.  As you know everything baby related cost you arms and legs.  Lets be honest, I rather save those money and put in my baby’s college fund then waste it in some junk.  So I asked around and I did get a lot of advise on what to get and what is total waste.  Let’s face it, every baby is different.  What you need for one baby, you might not need it for another one.  So I am not saying these are the must for every new mom.  There are few things I bought for my baby which is just sitting there collecting dust so it was a lot of hit and miss for us but  as a NM of a 12 week old baby, these are some of the stuffs I bought which I thought and other suggested are waste or pure luxury but I am glad I got them anyways.

 

1. nappy disposal system:

We live in a tiny 2 bedder and this thing is god sent for us.  No stink!  Trust me nappies stink and every time i empty those system, i am just glad that i got them and thank it for not making our unit, poopy stink hole.  They are handy and you do not have to find plastic  bags, just shove those stinky nappy in the system and no one needs to know about its existence.  Who are we kidding, even though i thought i might be able to do garbage trip every few hours, in reality, you would be lucky to even to use toilet for more than 2 minutes.

2. baby monitor: (video and audio)

I recently got this and I am glad I did.  I do not know why we did not get it before.  You put the bub down for self settling, watch her via this monitor till she falls a sleep.  My lil one is really clever, she would make noise and go quite for few minutes to trick us, when we go in to check on her, she would start crying and because I did not want to scar her for life (there is no studies to prove this but as new mom I just think its best), I would pick her up, rock her to sleep.  Kid you, not this would take me 20 min plus.  No fun at all.  Now I just watch her from the monitor and once she is sleep, i go and check on her.  I was reluctant to get those mat thing for SIDS, was not sure how effective those are.  Once i know the lil one is down, I just go and check her every now and then.  Also, once she started self settling, she sleeps much better and longer.  So it is true, self settled baby are good sleepers!  I can now watch her and take showers without worrying what lil one is doing, how awesome is that?

3. car capsule:

We initially bought convertible car seat.  Car capsule and those convertible car seat were pretty much same price so we thought, why buy something which we can only use for 6 months.  It made sense at that time before the bub arrived.  After having baby who had trouble sleeping, it made sense to have car capsule.  If she sleeps in one of those drive, which she always does (hallelujah), now we do not have to wake her up, we can just take her everywhere while she sleeps, we dont have to wake her up and put her in pram or bassinet.  I know, some of you think and trust me i used to think that as well, prolonged use of car capsule is bad for their back but it is better than cranky unsettled baby.  Trust me it is so convenient as well, no more fiddling with harnesses in busy car park and side of road while bubba screams.  You do not have to wake the bubba and take her with you everywhere.  I do however make sure that she is not in her car capsule for more than 2 hours at a time.

I am sure there are many such product I will find along the way as my little one grows and she will grow to love other products.

XX

 

Birthday

Best birthday ever! Started day with traditional birthday routine. Sanu, your daddy is the best. Then. Had an appointment with dr Lyons and got to see sanu again. You waved at us, is that your way of saying “happy birthday, mumma”.
That was the best gift ever. Being loved and knowing that I am surrounded by loved ones is the greatest feeling ever.

Random

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This little emoticon is my life is mushroom. He has been rescued months or so ago by Wally’s doggie rescue. He is a real character and charmer. Me and my hubby cannot even imagine our lives without this fur ball or stink ball as we like to refer him to on days where he needs a good bath.

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This was our first walk ;). Still feels like yesterday. He was so scared of everything and reluctant to try new things.

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And this is how he likes to spend most of his days 😉

Dust your self and try again, Try again.

As much I would like this blog not to sound as some depressed soul crying for help (which by the way I am not but I am a drama queen, i must admit), I have this feeling that my attempt will fail.  I have so many questions that I refused to be answered.  Strange isn’t it?  Yes, that just proves that I “might” be drama queen.  I feel like i know the answers to all these questions but I still refuse them to be the correct answers and the quest continues.

You fall, you dust your self and try again.  You fall again, you look at your self wondering what went wrong.  Why I am the messy one where as everyone looks like they just came out of some laundromat?  You look other ways and reluctantly dust your self but now scared to take another step, fearing you might fall again.  Fall deep down to the pit.  What if you can not get out of this one or what if you stand just to find your self falling again?  What if the pit you fell into is bottomless ones?  

I been burned twice and despite having no physical bruises, the scar goes way deep and now I am too scared to play with the flame.  Surely this is not normal.  Being burnt, tears, dust.. they are all part of life.  You will not have stories to tell to your kids (that if you ever have one) if your life is like plain water.  What would you say to your imaginary kids?  

“Kids, I have no scar because I only played with calm water and luckily there was no flood.  The End.”

irrational-ism and logic

How many of us acted certain way because at that time it made perfect sense at that time  but come to regret it immediately after that?  At that time, there was this perfect logic behind it but then few seconds later, your logic crumbles but for some reason you cannot stop.  You keep taking spin at irrational thinking that if I keep going like this, I will end up some where rational.  GUILTY.

You are having rough day, you are tired and worn out and all you want to do is lay down for 5 seconds and put your head together but  you can not. Sometimes being perfectionist comes to bite you in the ass, you want things to be certain way, well not perfect but the way you want it to be.  Lets face it, we do not live in perfect world, things goes up and down.  That is when things really go downhill.  Your logic fails but irrational-ism takes over and you strongly believe that you are in the right path.  It makes sense at the time but soon after it crumbles and crumbles.  You try to pick those broken pieces and try to mend the wrong but is it too late?  Luckily, I only lose my marbles when I am home!  Unluckily, may be.

To you on your last day as 29 yr old Boy.

This last couple of weeks have been nightmare to me.  I want your special day when you finally step out of 29yr old boyhood to being a real 30 yr old man but seriously could not think of what can I do to make sure that it really becomes special event for you.  So I ponder deep inside but nothing comes.  I guess that what happens when you have known some one too well and spent too much time together, you can barely distinguish your ownself with that person.  It is like 2 person morphed into one or should i say : “2 times in one”.  So I am going to talk about us and our journey till here.

When we first met, we both know we cant remember the event.  It was sometime when we were in STX. You were 16.  We were in same class lucky both our name starts with “R”.  I am even amazed that we became good friends.  No one knew we would end up but there was always a little tease going on for us.  Years later who knew we would cross path and after shedding some tears, we will end up being together.  How old you, then?  23?

Then came the long distance relationship.  Even though the love was there, we were missing and there came the low.  We survived that and started new beginning.  The real beginning was when you were at the end of your 24 years and nearing 25.  And on the first day of your 25th year, we really realised there is only we and no U and I, there.  I am so glad that we realised that.

Through thin and thick, rich and poor, sick and health, we passed to the new era.  The wedding was a bliss and still one of the few best thing that ever happened to us.  We were so scared and nervous.  We had couple of cold feets but at the end we survived, yet once again.  Our life have actually been breeze since.  It have ups and down but we conquered it all like they say, United we stand tall.

Now fast forward to today.  Can you believe it, this is your last day as 29 yr old.  Tomorrow when you open your eyes, you will be 30 year old proud Man. I am glad i have known you the entire time.  You been nothing been my rock and now soon 30 yr old rock.  You have amazed me from day 1 and you keep doing that.  How do you manage to do that?  I look forward to be part of you in your 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th, 80th, 90th, 100th and so forth.

Love you heaps OOXX

settled into the nest

As you all might (i like to feel that there are few other people who actually bother to read my blog besides myself), me and my hubby recently purchased our first ever unit. “Purchased” is a big word and some what inaccurate as well since it is still 90% owned by bank and we just contribute to the massive profit my bank makes. Still upset with my bank for not passing down the RBA cut just like expected.

Lets move on from me and my bank drama.  After few months of non stop furniture shopping, those drama and lame attempt to prove to world that who needs interior designer when I am here there, we finally put together a nice little nest for me and my hubby.  Must say this is still job in progress, seriously when will this end?

Any ways, I am just glad that I have a place now which I can really call my home.  Being Nepalese woman, its hard on us.  We are raised up saying our parents home is our home and then after wedding big boom.  All of the sudden, that home of yours is not yours any more  its called maternity home and your husband’s home is your home, now.  This might be easy transition for all those Nepalese women who are still in Nepal.  For me it was a little bit of crisis.  I left Nepal, my home to move to Sydney where I have previously been renting and moving around.  Rented apartment is not really your home, its a condo to crash till you find your sanctuary.  So me and my husband go back to Nepal for our Wedding.  After that, there it goes, a big slap on my face.  The Nepalese society telling me the home that I call my home is not “my” home any more.   I must say I do agree that its actually my parents home and it ceased being my home when I moved out from there. The fact that I cannot call it my home anymore because I am married to my hubby, just gets to me.  Worst, the society wants me to call my hubby’s home in Nepal my home.  Just to clarify, he moved out of that home to move in with me in Sydney, so technically its not his home as well.  Home crisis!

So when we decided to buy a property and make it our home, it was like God sent.  Its funny how easy for me to say ‘God sent’, being an atheist.

Bottom line, this home of ours, I do believe is our nest.  Even though we do not own it, bank does majority of ownership, we still own like a inch on the floor where I can park our hearts.  At the end of the day, all the drama, all the mortgage, my home is worth all the pain it caused us.

rujuna

We are buying our first house, not really its a unit!

Dear word press,

Sorry for ignoring you for such a long time. I have been extremely busy lately and can you believe it? I even forgot my password to log in. My pc could not even keep me logged in. Yes, it has been that long.

The reason I have been so busy is I work full time! You really fell for that, dint you? Yes I do work full time and on top of that, we are planning to buy our first house. After years of toying with the thought of owning a property, we finally decided we want to get our own property. All weekdays were wasted browsing real estate website and weekend busy trying to make it to open house. After going back and froth on suburbs, we went to Brookvale and fell in love at the first sight. So Gen Y, you would say and i cannot disagree more. But that was not easy either, after constant battle between reality, our assumptions and dreams, we finally took the steps and we now have settlement in few days. How exciting, you would think. It is but at the same time, it is too scary! So much of stress! Let me tell you, buying a property is not as easy as you would think it would be. Overall I am glad, me and my hubby we are taking these steps together.

love,
rujuna.

PS: We had our 10 days US tripped planned in the middle of this whirlpool and we literally had hurricane Katrina in our lives. So glad we are still surviving and here I am writing this blog.

First time flying solo

Dear diary,

What happened to the girl I used toknow? I thought I was strong and independent, overall a real fighter. I remember I used to laugh at other girls saying how lame they were. Now looking back I see myself in this position. I have changed. I am scared! Scared of my this flight crashing, scared of my hubby’s plane crashing. Aren’t I m glad, he is not pilot or flight attendant, phew!
Yes, I had this opportunity to fly to Melbourne for some project, after much delay my hubby n I decided we will fly over for weekend as well but for some stingy reason, he had to fly tiger airways while I m at quantas. I m on board of this full-of-exciting flight and I am worrying not only about myself but about my hubby. Damn! Why can’t I turn on my phone and make sure he is ok?

Strange how I never realized, how I really worry myself sick! I am just kidding, its been long time, I have waived my bold me good bye, its been long time ago. Now what remains is timid me, who is worries about world n too afraid to speak out!

Ops, looks like it landing at Mel airport. Glad to be alive. Phew!

Hope left eye twitching ain’t no bad omen, not that I believe in theses crap, oh wait, do I?

Love u my hubby.

Ps: this earth is beautiful 😉