sleep sleep, please sleep!

Sleep Sleep! Why don’t you sleep?
You are tired and cranking!
I can tell, you will be miserable without your nap!
Sleep sleep! Why don’t you sleep?

Oh you slept? Now what?
Its past your lunch time, now its time to wake up.
Wake up wake up wake up!

Oh no! Why did you wake up?
Go back to sleep! You need one more sleep cycle?
Are you hungry? Here is milk!
Oh you are just tired and cranky?
Sleep Sleep! Why don’t you sleep?

Being a GenY and a woman

Pressure on Women from Gen Y:

As if being Gen Y is not hard enough, women from my generation are in constant pressure. Family they say, career they say, money they say, you have to have it all. They want us to have it all at the same time looking like Miranda Kerr. Yes we feel like there is this constant pressure of looking like supermodel, acting like superwoman and have career like Gail Kelly. Oh yes and there are royalties and so called like Kate, Beyonce….

May be its social media, we now have to face a bigger society and bigger expectation. We constantly try to connect to people all around the world and drooling over the life they have. Gen Y are bit of a show off, aren’t we? We highlight all the wonderful thing in our lives and we parade it in our social media statuses. We do not like to talk about our darker hours. We talk about how we got engaged to the wonderful man with pictures and emoticons but we rarely see lonely woman parading about how her man treats her poorly. We talk about how supermum went back to work and became a career woman but we do not talk about struggle they had to go through to get to that position.

This makes me wonder, should we be talking about not only our good days but our bad days as well. Are we too scared of constantly being judged? Will talking about our weakness makes us more vulnerable? Do we think if I tell my social friends that I curl up in bed every night crying, not that I do that, will make me a target? In our weak situations when our flight or fight instinct kick in, do we just take a flight? Rather than talking about it and spreading the awareness, does majority of us tend to just sweep them under the rug. Come to think about it, after centuries of feminism war, we have not really gone very far. Yes, we can vote, walk out of the front door alone literally and have say in our society but we still do not have our freedom. We are still tied down by society in some way or the other.

Woman needs to build their career and majority have to give that up to start family. After kids are grown up, what? Oh we were suppose to chase after our career. How do we do that? Majority of company are very aware of their cost and they look at moms as liability. However men on the other hand, they can have girlfriends, kids, grand kids, even side businesses, they are still taken as the asset, you know someone you can rely on for when it matters.

Dinner time thought

As I sat next to a 9 month old , trying to feed her dinner, getting frustrated on the food that I prepared being wasted and wondering what goes in that tiny little brain.

Yay! I am in high chair. What is mummy doing? I am kind of sure, her name is mummy. Ok I am not really sure who she is but I see her face a lot. I mean a lot!
Ok mushroom is here, too. I wonder why he looks so different than rest of us. He is so white and fluffy.
I see mummy got some toys, there. Play time! Oh yes, mummy says, it’s actually called dinner time. This is my favorite play time. Yay! I am super excited!
What is that you are handing me, mummy?
Look I can pick it up using my thumb n finger. Should I put it in my mouth? Yes?
Let’s try dropping it off from this side of highchair. What? Mummy is trying to catch it. Hurry another side.
Oh, looks like mushroom loves it. May be mummy wants me to feed mushroom. Here mushroom, this looks yum.
Mummy got spoon, she has something in it and that spoon is heading toward me. Open! Open your mouth! Lol! Tricked you mumm, closed my mouth right at the knick of time. Let’s check if mushroom found this fun as well.
Mummy, I got my mouth open here, why can’t your spoon reach here? Mummy?
What? Didn’t see that spoon ? How did that thing got into my mouth? Swimming lesson! Blow raspberries, aim toward mummy. She loves it! She loves it!!
I love this dinner time.
Spoon thing is boring. Look at mushroom, he is all bored. Where is he? I cannot see him? Is that him? Is that him?
No mum this is boring! No!
Yay! She got me something! Pick, take it toward your mouth, look at mummy’s expression! Here mushroom, your treat!
Yay!! Blow raspberries!!


Motherhood: it’s all colour of the spectrum

How can some one so cute can inflict so much pain?
Those tears just roll down the cheeks and situation gets so out of hand.
One minute, you are flying free as a bird and within a sec, you get shot down.
You constantly question yourself and pity yourself.
You feel like you are fighting a battle you can never win.
Oh the frustrations, you just wish you could go disappear in a black hole!
The crying doesn’t stop. You don’t know what’s wrong.
Why have they not cracked a baby code?
Yet we humans claim we are smart enough to crack outer space!
Seriously!! I am right now ashamed to call myself an evolved being!
And then something strange happen, she smiles
Next thing you know, you are ready to jump the ship!


ah the motherhood.

When you want sleep, baby keeps u awake at night and now she is sleeping mostly through the night, mom is still wide awake for few hours! Why?

Me: everyone is asleep, lets go to sleep its 3 AM

Brain: what no way! i am used to staying awake this hour!

Me: ok, so what do we do?

Brain: lets see! lets bring out your inner passive agressiveness and go through what you should could have said to people rather than playing nice to them!

Wow!!  insomnia brings out passive aggressiveness.  Now I know what I really wanted to tell someone.  thanks insomnia!

hang in there buddy, OOXX

things I bought as a new mom that I am glad I did

When I was pregnant and went shopping, baby shops were daunting, they had isle of stuffs and you were not sure what they actually do. Because we live in a tiny 2 bedder and tight in budget, we were not sure what we should buy and what not.  As you know everything baby related cost you arms and legs.  Lets be honest, I rather save those money and put in my baby’s college fund then waste it in some junk.  So I asked around and I did get a lot of advise on what to get and what is total waste.  Let’s face it, every baby is different.  What you need for one baby, you might not need it for another one.  So I am not saying these are the must for every new mom.  There are few things I bought for my baby which is just sitting there collecting dust so it was a lot of hit and miss for us but  as a NM of a 12 week old baby, these are some of the stuffs I bought which I thought and other suggested are waste or pure luxury but I am glad I got them anyways.


1. nappy disposal system:

We live in a tiny 2 bedder and this thing is god sent for us.  No stink!  Trust me nappies stink and every time i empty those system, i am just glad that i got them and thank it for not making our unit, poopy stink hole.  They are handy and you do not have to find plastic  bags, just shove those stinky nappy in the system and no one needs to know about its existence.  Who are we kidding, even though i thought i might be able to do garbage trip every few hours, in reality, you would be lucky to even to use toilet for more than 2 minutes.

2. baby monitor: (video and audio)

I recently got this and I am glad I did.  I do not know why we did not get it before.  You put the bub down for self settling, watch her via this monitor till she falls a sleep.  My lil one is really clever, she would make noise and go quite for few minutes to trick us, when we go in to check on her, she would start crying and because I did not want to scar her for life (there is no studies to prove this but as new mom I just think its best), I would pick her up, rock her to sleep.  Kid you, not this would take me 20 min plus.  No fun at all.  Now I just watch her from the monitor and once she is sleep, i go and check on her.  I was reluctant to get those mat thing for SIDS, was not sure how effective those are.  Once i know the lil one is down, I just go and check her every now and then.  Also, once she started self settling, she sleeps much better and longer.  So it is true, self settled baby are good sleepers!  I can now watch her and take showers without worrying what lil one is doing, how awesome is that?

3. car capsule:

We initially bought convertible car seat.  Car capsule and those convertible car seat were pretty much same price so we thought, why buy something which we can only use for 6 months.  It made sense at that time before the bub arrived.  After having baby who had trouble sleeping, it made sense to have car capsule.  If she sleeps in one of those drive, which she always does (hallelujah), now we do not have to wake her up, we can just take her everywhere while she sleeps, we dont have to wake her up and put her in pram or bassinet.  I know, some of you think and trust me i used to think that as well, prolonged use of car capsule is bad for their back but it is better than cranky unsettled baby.  Trust me it is so convenient as well, no more fiddling with harnesses in busy car park and side of road while bubba screams.  You do not have to wake the bubba and take her with you everywhere.  I do however make sure that she is not in her car capsule for more than 2 hours at a time.

I am sure there are many such product I will find along the way as my little one grows and she will grow to love other products.



8 years together

8 years together

What? Really? Hard to believe, isn’t it? It’s been 8 yrs when I first met love of my life.
I would like to dedicate this blog to my love. Words cannot express how happy I am that we end up together after yrs of cat and mouse games. Lol, well it was not really cat and mouse game but you know weird dating games. I am so glad that you fell in love with me and made me fall in love with you over and over again. You still give me goose bumps!
Thank you for the hug!

Happy anniversary. Both Sanu and I are eternally grateful for you being in our life and loving us. We love you “dis” much.



Need / have to be strong during self settling

I seriously think I will have to move in with Reina when she moves out to her place (some 20 yrs later). Poor thing, how will she ever sleep without me rocking her and singing to her for an hour? I am also hoping they will invent robotic arms by then, my aged arms will definitely not be able to handle 50 kilo woman! #needstoselfsettle