This little emoticon is my life is mushroom. He has been rescued months or so ago by Wally’s doggie rescue. He is a real character and charmer. Me and my hubby cannot even imagine our lives without this fur ball or stink ball as we like to refer him to on days where he needs a good bath.
As much I would like this blog not to sound as some depressed soul crying for help (which by the way I am not but I am a drama queen, i must admit), I have this feeling that my attempt will fail. Â¬â€ I have so many questions that I refused to be answered. Â¬â€ Strange isn’t it? Â¬â€ Yes, that just proves that I “might” be drama queen. Â¬â€ I feel like i know the answers to all these questions but I still refuse them to be the correct answers and the quest continues.
You fall, you dust your self and try again. Â¬â€ You fall again, you look at your self wondering what went wrong. Â¬â€ Why I am the messy one where as everyone looks like they just came out of someÂ¬â€ laundromat? Â¬â€ You look other ways and reluctantly dust your self but now scared to take another step, fearing you might fall again. Â¬â€ Fall deep down to the pit. Â¬â€ What if you can not get out of this one or what if you stand just to find your self falling again? Â¬â€ What if the pit you fell into is bottomless ones? Â¬â€
I been burned twice and despite having no physical bruises, the scar goes way deep and now I am too scared to play with the flame. Â¬â€ Surely this is not normal. Â¬â€ Being burnt, tears, dust.. they are all part of life. Â¬â€ You will not have stories to tell to your kids (that if you ever have one) if your life is like plain water. Â¬â€ What would you say to your imaginary kids? Â¬â€
“Kids, I have no scar because I only played with calm water and luckily there was no flood. Â¬â€ The End.”
How many of us acted certain way because at that time it made perfect sense at that time Â¬â€ but come to regret it immediately after that? Â¬â€ At that time, there was this perfect logic behind it but then few seconds later, your logic crumbles but for some reason you cannot stop. Â¬â€ You keep taking spin atÂ¬â€ irrationalÂ¬â€ thinking that if I keep going like this, I will end up some where rational. Â¬â€ GUILTY.
You are having rough day, you are tired and worn out and all you want to do is lay down for 5 seconds and put your head together but Â¬â€ you can not. Sometimes being perfectionist comes to bite you in the ass, you want things to be certain way, well not perfect but the way you want it to be. Â¬â€ Lets face it, we do not live in perfect world, things goes up and down. Â¬â€ That is when things really go downhill. Â¬â€ Your logic fails butÂ¬â€ irrational-ismÂ¬â€ takes over and you stronglyÂ¬â€ believeÂ¬â€ that you are in the right path. Â¬â€ It makes sense at the time but soon after it crumbles and crumbles. Â¬â€ You try to pick those broken pieces and try to mend the wrong but is it too late? Â¬â€ Luckily, I only lose my marbles when I am home! Â¬â€ Unluckily, may be.